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CONFESSION

i want to smoke. i want to pick up smoking. i'm scared once i start i cant stop. i'm afraid there's only so long the disgusting images on effects of smoking can put me off when i deliberately search for them. i'm terrified.

why, oh why? i used to hate smoking in general. i especially hate the stale cigarette smell that lingers in clothes. but i seem to be pining more and more to start this disgusting habit.

on the other hand, with the amount of second-hand smoke i seem to be inhaling on a DAILY basis, it really doesnt matter if i actually smoke, does it?