im so gonna be driven to an asylum by my mom! she has been in this perpetual bad mood for the whole week, screaming into the phone day and night, taking it out on everyone. she probably just wants to put down and undermine everyone to make herself feel superior. i mean yea, as the daughter i shld be more understanding and blah and blah rite? heck. there's a limit to everything.

sure i know work's tough, employees are hell, but its not like i can do anything abt it since she doesnt like me asking abt her work. so i stay cooped up in my room all day and avoid any confrontation with her. not tt it makes any difference. she'll just storm in and start with the first thing in my room tt doesnt suit her. and then she can go on to dragging ancient stuff THAT HAS NOT HAPPENED IN THE LAST 5 YEARS.

of course, my room is always in a state of mess that ticks her off to no end. when she burst into my room on friday night, i was ALREADY IN THE PROCESS of cleaning up my room and she starts screaming off abt how i dont ever clean my room. yea sure mom. the scrap papers and plastic im holding in my hand are not rubbish, i actually meant to have it for supper. -.-

and eventually after an hr of screaming, it finally got to her tt i was already cleaning my room. then she can actually ask why i didnt tell her sooner. gee mom. i told u i was doing it when u came in. u chose not to listen. and then she went into the melodramatics of me not appreciating her and im on my own for now on. gee, and its all started out with a messy room (which i was already cleaning up).

ok so now im on my own. figuring she's pissed i didnt talk to her over the weekend. she definitely needs to cool down. yea rite. this mornin bright and early she stormed into my room agn for disrespecting her. how? i didnt tell her i dun have to go to sch today. rite, so she tells me tt im on my own. i of course naturally assumes, that she will no longer drive me to sch. if so, there isnt any reason to inform her in advance rite?

furthermore she goes into this teary rendition of how heartless i am, ignoring her for two days just because of a fight? like, huh? normally when we have fights she wouldn't speak to me for at least a week. so now when i give up trying, i get shot for it?! mom, u do have to know you didn't give birth to a psychic daughter who is extremely attuned to the mechanics of ur brain.

a psychotic daughter maybe, but not psychic.

not to mention, when she stormed in (again), it was only 7+ and i only went to bed at arnd 6am.i could barely keep awake and drifted in and out during her yelling and sniffles. surprising how many years of 'switching off' helps here. yea, anyway this nocturnal behaviour is another cause for yelling. it's unnatural, unhealthy, blah blah blah. sure, i'll TOTALLY buy this kind of crap if it didn't come from a woman who usually comes home arnd 4am. oh, and the famous "i'm your mother, dun compare me to u". yea sure. wadever. being my mother doesnt make u less of a human or more of a god. you're still subjected to the same laws.

don't get me wrong, i love my mom. i really do. i know she sacrifices alot for her kids. i just dont have any respect for her. to me, she's fake, hypocritical and sometimes, unethical (if not immoral). in those rare occasion, i actually feel lucky to have been in ij-sjc (which i hates immensely) for its huge emphasis on character building.