i thought i was past it. it was never meant to start in p6 and i thought it ended in sec 2. this is one of the reasons why i hate sjc. the badmemories, the bad habits. old wounds heal but it's all catching up agn. i seriously thought that once i entered sr, it would be a fresh start. indeed, last yr was different. i tried to change, i tried to do many things. i even struggled when the stress level was too high. and im glad, perhaps proud of myself too, that i never had to resort to such methods again.





but maybe, the trip back to hk changed it. i felt like a kid, with no care in the world, i was surrounded by love and happiness, which is apparently lacking here. and now, coming back, i just cant take it anymore, after i got to taste wad the other life is like. im sorry i had to do it again, and im sorry to those who are worried. but its either this or something more drastic. this kind of thing wont kill, and brings relief. not that im recommending it.