this post is out for someone special. (ok, it's just plain bitching on my part)

if all the lies you've told were with malice, you bet i would have treated u like fiona. but because i know u dont mean any harm by it, that is the only reason im still talking to u. Still, i wonder. how could i be so blind to people close to me. first her, now u.

is there a need to lie abt ur results? sure, its no big deal. but it hurts that u think i would base our friendship on how well u are academically. wad makes me madder is that u took me for a fool. there i was holding ur o lvl cert, counting ur points in front of u, and u still could tell me u got 15. fine. no biggie. i ddnt say anything to unmask your lie. you were just not who i thought you were.

when u asked me to help u to do something. i said ok. i really didnt mind, although that was something you were supposed to do. i had already done mine. because you said u couldnt go online, i wasted a cd, buring such a small file just to pass to u in sch. and in the end? you did not even open the freaking file. you never saw my work. i felt really furious. sad. who do u think i am? what do u take me for? and when u said it, u were laughing, brushing it off as nothing. i didnt blow my top with u then, i just smiled, not wanting to make things worse. if i really blew my top there, maybe it would be the end of things, u know i cant control myself once i lose it. but then agn, now that i think abt, maybe i shld have blown my top there, make u be less irresponsible and less self-centred. because tt is wad u are doing to others still. now.

i dont want to believe wad im hearing from others. but i know. those are the facts. im just wondering why i nvr noticed it in sjc. even rach told me, this was wad u have always been, how u have treated her as well.

i wont say anything abt ur relationships, no matter how i think u have handled it. its not my place and has nothing to do with me. to me, you are longer who i thought was, and i can never have respect for you. still, you are a friend, as long as you nvr betray me like fiona. the crap she told you abt forgiving me? i dun need her forgiveness. i paid her back wad she had done to me, fair and square, not using manipulative methods like hers. i will never forgive nor forget what she has done. to err is human, to forgive - divine? im just human. i have no wish to become divine.