*Edit: oops. i forgot to add. Either one will do haha

joyce and i were just talking over msn the other day, and somehow our conversation came to my far too high expectations and my hard-heartedness. i dont really think my expectations are too high, and if i do lower them, its like.. 对不起自己 yea. U know why? coz my expectations is just very simple. i've no type in mind, in terms of looks or personality. nada. zilch. (of coz he cant be real bad, always on the fringe of the law)

1)Mutual umm love?
its really hard to get and i dont think it'll be here in my life when im only 16. If i would settle for affection, i would buy a dog. If i could of coz. And of course feelings have to mutual. It can't be a one way street. Either he'll annoy the heck outta me or i will. So even if i like someone just a lil, i wont do anything. Firstly, i dunno if the other person feels the same. Secondly, its only a mild thing. It always passes. So i wont even want to get into the trouble of cleaning up the mess after everything's over. Futhermore, love doesnt conquer all. There are alot of issues to iron out, and alot of effort has to be put in. Now, sch is zapping all my energy away. i would be lucky if i wont collapse in sch one day, let alone find love.


OR

2) he's stinking rich
also, its impossible now at this age. of course, this is based on the assumption tt someone rich actually likes me and i can actually spend months facing the person without scratching his eyes out. oh im definitely materialistic. i'll be the first to admit. As someone used to say, money is not everything, but everything needs money. It can settle my basic needs, including certain emotions.

ok on to the next part. Me being hard-hearted. well this is not something new. Someone once said i was cold too. Hmm.. well according to joyce, i seem to take quite long developing close friendships. And i seem to have frequent moments where i just.. well, be cold to ppl. haha. hard to change i guess. its me =D