disenchanted
As some of my friends know, i play a really cool online game called Lineage 2. Just like any other MMORPG games, the population is 95% male, or even more.
What really irks me is the way some ppl on the server just deem female players like me, to be weak mentally, emotionally and physically. I'm on quite good terms with some of the ppl there, but they just get on my nerves with lines like "im sorry u have to see this bloodshed" or "i think u better not go coz u might be killed".
What do they think i am? Some porcelain doll to sit and look pretty? And that's a figure of speech. I can take care of myself, dammit. And as some of my close frieds knows, im violent and adore gore. Okay, i think i just sounded like a monster...
Another thing is, i would love to be more active in my clan and help out more. My brother, who happens to be the leader coz he's the founder, refuses to let me help out. I want to be needed, i want to be useful!! Jeanne, a fellow clan member, always helps me. I'm like, so in debt to her, yet i cant return the bloody favour. In fact, I feel like a burden, always needing help.
Whenever there are clan outings, as in ppl in the clan meet up with one another in real life, i cant go!! Why? Coz im the only female who'll be there!! It's like, WTF?!?!? im just so depressed...
"It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them."
- Mark Twain
fides ٩(×.×)۶
this is my blog_.
Singapore
Manitoba, Canada
